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by PeaceLilies



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Future Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-07-14 23:42:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7196081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeaceLilies/pseuds/PeaceLilies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had only been three weeks. Adam had come home for Thanksgiving and now it was Winter break and he would be home for a month and a half before spring semester started but he felt starved. Just the sight of Ronan made his heart canter away from him, his heat rise. He felt this pull, this longing, so strong it made him want to cry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Adam had to drop his bags in order to support the small, clinging mass that had wrapped itself around his chest, squeezing the air out of his lungs. He laughed and held Opal to him, nuzzling into her hair.

“Adam, Adam, Adam!” she squealed and Adam laughed some more.

“Hi, Opal,” he said, looking at her as she looked up at him, grinning a sharp toothed smile.

It was cold, as Decembers in Virginia were won’t to be. The Barns was the only point of light, straight ahead. Adam heard the screen door open and close and the sound of fluttering wings.

“Kerah!”

Chainsaw swooped overhead as Opal dropped from Adam’s arms. Ronan had come down the steps, striding toward the Hondayota and Adam with purposeful steps.

Adam’s breath caught at the sight of him. He wore a leather jacket, unzipped, and dirty boots. His blue eyes were bright points in the dark, hungry, honed in on Adam.

It had only been three weeks. Adam had come home for Thanksgiving and now it was Winter break and he would be home for a month and a half before spring semester started but he felt starved. Just the sight of Ronan made his heart canter away from him, his heat rise. He felt this pull, this longing, so strong it made him want to cry.

Then Ronan was upon him, strong arms wrapping around him, pulling him flush against his torso.

“Hey,” Ronan breathed, his breath puffing into the cool, Henrietta air against Adam’s face.

“Hey,” Adam replied before Ronan’s lips crashed into his, merciless and needy.

Adam made a low sound in his throat, his hands coming up to cup Ronan’s face, kissing him deeply.

He felt like he was going to implode, the tension building inside him.

_Ronan, Ronan, Ronan._

Adam’s hands slid to Ronan’s shoulders, grasping, restless. He wanted to touch him everywhere, feel him close. He felt desperate.

Ronan pulled away. His blue eyes were so, so bright, almost glowing. Adam was lost in them. Ronan’s lips were slightly parted, kiss swollen, perfect.

In one smooth motion, Ronan lifted Adam, throwing him over his shoulder like a sack of grain and striding back toward the house.

Adam gasped, surprised, and started laughing, his hands grasping against Ronan’s back.

“Ronan!” he laughed, “my bags!”

“Later,” was the reply and they were up the front steps and into the house.

The smell of the Barns wrapped around Adam, familiar and safe. It was warm inside and the smell of chili wafted from the kitchen as they passed on the way to their bedroom.

Adam felt nothing but thrill and anticipation. Ronan gingerly placed him on their bed, leaning over him, his hands already tugging and pulling at Adam’s clothes; he’d kicked the bedroom door shut behind him.

Adam ran his hands over Ronan’s shaved head, just feeling him; his warmth, his realness.

Ronan pulled back, gently tugging Adam into a sitting position, dropping his scarf on the floor, pulling down and off his jacket, dropping that, too.

Adam studied his face, as Ronan studied him. He leaned in and kissed Ronan, slower this time, cupping his cheeks again, stroking his thumb along those sharp cheekbones.

Ronan pulled slightly away, kissed Adam firmly with closed lips, brushed their lips, and turned his face, nuzzling at Adam’s hand.

He gently curled his fingers around Adam’s wrist, his thumb against his pulse, index finger against the back of his hand.

Ronan was all sharp angles and edges and shadow. He was not soft; perhaps, less spiky than he had been…but angular and rough.

Except when he made love to Adam.

Ronan kissed all over Adam’s palm, down to his wrist, making goosebumps rise all over Adam’s body. His heart hammered restlessly in his chest, anticipatory.

Finished with his attention to Adam’s hand, Ronan eyed him from behind his lashes. His eyes…those eyes. Adam whimpered and Ronan smiled.

He pulled off Adam’s clothes carefully, kissing every piece of skin that appeared.

After tugging down Adam’s pants, leaving him in his plain, white boxers, embarrassingly tented, Ronan began removing his own clothes, just out of reach of Adam.

Adam watched him undress, nearly salivating as pieces of hard, toned skin appeared from beneath black fabric.

Ronan tugged down his jeans and stepped out of them. He’d gone commando that day and that fact made Adam blush furiously. His cock twitched.

Ronan smiled wickedly at him, coming close again, and rested his body snuggly against Adam’s, rubbing against him tantalizingly. He smoothed his hands into Adam’s hair and kissed him again, hungrier, needier, sighing into Adam’s mouth.

Adam’s hands gripped Ronan’s shoulders, slid down the sharp edges of his spine, over the ink on his back, lower, over his ass.

Touching, feeling, pulling.

He wrapped his legs around Ronan, his hips lifting.

_Closer, closer, closer._

Adam felt desperate, uneasy, needy, and hungry.

Ronan pulled away, only a little, kissing his way down Adam’s chest.

Ronan did not have sex like he did everything else.

Ronan was soft and slow and tender. Achingly so. His kisses set Adam aflame, his touch burned him to the core, made him feel more alive.

Ronan made Adam feel desired and loved and…worshipped.

His boxers were tugged down and a warm mouth enveloped him.

Adam slid his hands against Ronan’s head, cupping, trembling. He stared up at the cream colored ceiling, the dark wooden ceiling fan and thought…

_This man…I love this man…God help me…I can’t…_

Adam’s eyes squeezed shut and desperate sounds left his mouth.

“Ronan…fuck…darlin’…”

He could hear his own Henrietta accent, thick and cavernous in the quiet of the room.

Ronan’s hands smoothed up his hips, to his ribs, resting around his rib cage, feeling him inhale…exhale.

Ronan pulled away, his breath warm against Adam’s pelvis. He was steady as a rock and Adam trembled beneath him.

“Adam…” was all he said and Adam nodded, eyes open and locked on Ronan’s.

The lube was warm, probably from a dream, and that made Adam smile. Ronan’s fingers worked inside him, familiar and sure, knowing exactly how to touch, to pleasure.

“Okay?” he asked, kissing Adam’s hips, licking along the line of bone.

“Oh…yes…” Adam replied, “please…”

For a long time, Adam had struggled with feeling that he deserved this…that this attention and love being lavished on him was unwarranted, that Ronan’s feelings would dissipate when he realized _something_ about Adam. That Adam was a fraud, a fake, in some way. Adam did not feel he deserved Ronan’s love…and understanding this…Ronan only loved him harder, more.

It was easier now, realizing what they had. Ronan needed love, just as much as Adam did. He needed to know that Adam was here to stay, that he would always come back, that he wouldn’t disappear. They had found one another.

Adam wrapped his arms tight around Ronan’s shoulders, his knees squeezing Ronan’s hips. Having Ronan inside him…he felt… _home_.

Adam was a complete being without Ronan, as Ronan was a complete being without Adam. But the feeling of home, of belonging…was found between them.

Ronan kissed Adam, sighing, breathing him in, moving his hips; careful, tender, stroking.

Adam breathed, deep, softly moaned.

Ronan was oft silent during sex. He was attentive, painfully so. He was a tender, affectionate, generous lover…but he didn’t do more than breathe and sometimes sigh.

Adam squeezed him close, before resting a hand against Ronan’s chest, pressing a little. Ronan stopped moving.

“Okay…?” he asked, eyes searching Adam’s.

Adam nodded, smiled, kissed Ronan deeply.

“Roll over,” he murmured, “don’t pull out.”

Ronan did so, careful, gently maneuvering them until Adam was straddled atop him.

Adam had to take a moment to adjust to the new position, to feeling Ronan…deeper. It was slightly uncomfortable, new; he shifted and Ronan’s breath caught.

Adam looked at him and Ronan looked back, his breathing quickened, chest rising and falling. Adam smiled, licked his lips. He tugged Ronan’s hands to rest on his hips and shifted his legs.

Adam raised himself up, testing, slow, and then back down. His eyelids fluttered. That was good. Ronan’s breath caught again and he made a soft, almost imperceptible sound.

Adam found his stride, his hands against Ronan’s pectorals.

He closed his eyes, his head back, riding Ronan’s cock for all he was worth. He needed this, wanted this.

_Home, Home, Home._

Ronan made a helpless sound and Adam felt his hips move. There was no rhythm, just striving, reaching.

“Adam,” Ronan breathed, low, a whisper, “Adam…”

It sounded like a prayer.

His orgasm surprised him. He moaned, helpless, eyes closed, shooting warm, sticky jets over Ronan’s belly and chest. Adam nearly collapsed, arms slightly buckled.

“Adam,” Ronan sighed and Adam could feel him come inside him, warmth filling him up. Ronan’s mouth pressed to Adam’s cheek and Adam trembled.

They lay together, cleaned up, soft. Ronan gently brushed his thumb over Adam’s cheek, brushing away his tears.

Ronan brushed his lips back and forth against Adam’s forehead, placed a kiss there, cradling him. Adam sighed, pressing his face into Ronan’s chest.

Ronan dressed after some time, leaving Adam tucked warmly in their bed, retrieved his bags from outside and came back to find Adam sound asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Ronan was in love.

Madly, stupidly, completely, unbearably so.

Adam was home, sound asleep in their bed. He looked like sunshine and smelt like a forest.

Ronan crawled back into bed with him after making sure Opal was taken care of and Chainsaw was keeping entertained with some paper and knick-knacks.

He lay next to Adam, watching him sleep.

He rememorized Adam; his freckles, the pink of his skin, his beautiful mouth, his long lashes, his sharp cheekbones and long nose. He was painfully gorgeous. And every detail perfect for Ronan’s dreams.

Ronan’s heart galloped away. He felt weightless and painfully present. He carefully brushed a stray lock of hair from Adam’s face and watched him twitch, then settle. Adam snuggled closer and Ronan wrapped an arm around him, stroking his back.

He looked tired, a little thinner. It had only been a month since they had seen one another but Ronan wondered of the toll school was taking on Adam. Maybe he was just imagining these things; because he worried, he cared. Adam had killed himself at Aglionby…he needn’t kill himself at Georgetown either.

Ronan was fiercely proud of Adam. He worried, sometimes, of his not returning to Henrietta. He knew that Adam had always wanted to get out, to escape…and he had not wanted to be the one thing that kept Adam there, kept him anchored to a place he did not wish to be. But, as Adam had told him over and over and over…this was home and he was doing everything he had wanted to do…on his own terms.

Ronan feared disappearance and Adam had feared that he was unlovable.

Both these things, though very visceral, had less control over them both than they had before.

There had been a lot of growing this past year and a half.

Adam made a soft sound and yawned, stretching out against Ronan.

“Why are you wearing clothes?” he asked, sleepy and teasing.

Ronan’s lips quirked slightly in the corner and rolled on top of Adam, making him giggle. They cuddled and Ronan’s heart soared.

_Adam…my Adam…_

They wrestled a little before getting up. Laughing and tickling and gently biting. Adam showered and Ronan heated up the chili he’d made. He wasn’t much of a cook but he figured he might as well give it a go, since, all things considered, he really couldn’t survive on Red Bull and chips forever.

Adam emerged from the room looking fresh and comfortable, his cheeks pink from the warm shower and he was using a towel to dry his hair. He wore a pair of baggy black sweatpants, which Ronan suspected were his own, and his Coca-cola t-shirt.

Opal’s head peeked over the couch, watching Adam like a lioness stalking a gazelle. She hopped over the couch and attached herself to Adam’s leg. Adam laughed and Ronan smiled, stirring the chili, Chainsaw watching from his shoulder.

Adam talked about school over their chili.

They sat next to one another on the couch, legs tangled, eating and talking.

Ronan learned that Adam’s friends weren’t sure if Adam had two boyfriends; a drag racing, pierced, tattooed punk obsessed with carrion birds or a small town farmer with a daughter. Ronan found this humorous and made the quiet assessment that Adam’s college friends were idiots.

Adam told Ronan about his classes, what he liked, what he hated, and he glowed.

Ronan talked about the farm and Declan and Matthew. He told Adam about how Opal was doing and the new things he dreamed to help the farm. He was so…peaceful.

Ronan felt at peace.

They discussed their plans for Christmas; that Gansey and Blue and Henry would come to them. They had the space and they could try to cook and if that didn’t work, Ronan could just dream it – but that was a last resort.

Ronan was looking forward to seeing his friends, to have them all together. Gansey still kept tabs on him and he did his best to answer his phone when his friend called. He and Blue were traveling the world and loving every bit of it. Ronan was happy for them.  

And he was happy for himself.

Which was still strange.

It had been a long time, a lifetime it seemed, since he had been happy.

Even now, the sensation sometimes made him uncomfortable, itchy, and he would go out to the Barn and box, relieving the tension that built in him. It was more tempered now, with Adam here, a warm sensation just under his ribcage.

Adam smiled at him over his bowl of chili, elastic and amiable, and Ronan thought, _I can die a happy man…_

He had not thought that that would be possible.

They washed dishes together, hip to hip, teasing, tossing argumentative barbs at one another.

Ronan had the realization that Adam would make a great lawyer and was then distracted as he was kissed.

They put Opal to bed and settled down to watch a movie.

“It’s…fucking enormous here,” Ronan murmured, “without you…”

Adam turned from his position of leaning in Ronan’s arms, facing the TV, to look at Ronan.

They talked to each other every day, once in the morning and once at night.

“I’m glad you’re happy and I’m glad you have friends and…I’m so fucking proud of you,” Ronan continued, voice rough, like if he stops now, he’ll never say what he wants to say…he knows he won’t.

He squeezed Adam, looking straight ahead, unable to look at Adam’s odd, elegant, beautiful face.

“I’m so fucking proud of you,” Ronan reiterated, “but I miss you…”

Adam inhaled and shifted out of Ronan’s arms, which made Ronan look at him, going cold.

He shouldn’t have said that…shouldn’t have been vulnerable…but Adam was looking at him so softly, his soft blue eyes glistened with tears. Definitely not what Ronan had been expecting…did he know how to handle this?

“You crazy bastard,” he said and cuddled back up to Ronan, hugging him close, “like I would be mad...? I miss you, too, you dumbass…”

Ronan is surprised, arms around Adam again, stroking his hair.

“Ugh,” Adam said, sniffling, and sat up a little, Ronan’s arms still around him. He wiped his eyes and nose and he was smiling, soft and fond…so affectionate it made Ronan want to combust.

“I love school, dude. I love it. It’s great, it’s everything I wanted and I have friends and everything but…I still miss you and I still miss being here,” Adam said adamantly and Ronan tried to listen, _really_ listen this time, because they had had this conversation before.

Adam took Ronan’s hand and Ronan’s heart started going. Adam squeezed.

“Listen to me, you Irish bastard, I love you and I’m always coming back, no matter what, okay? I may love school and have my friends…but you’re my home. I’m not going anywhere,” he said firmly.

Ronan looked at Adam, just stared, taking him all in, digesting his words. He nodded and Adam leaned in, kissing his cheek. Ronan closed his eyes and ducked his head slightly, wrapping his free arm around Adam.

“I love you,” Ronan said and Adam rested his forehead against Ronan’s temple, rubbing his nose back and forth against his skin.

“Say it again…?” Adam asked.

“I love you,” Ronan said and shifted so his forehead was pressed to Adam’s, “I love you, I love you, _ego amo te, ego amo te, ego amo te_ …”

Ronan was well aware the lack of love in Adam’s life. Lack of it from his parents, from Blue…Adam never saw himself as having worth…of being able to be loved. And all Ronan wanted to do was love him. Love him in such a way that made up for all the lack of it for the past eighteen years.


End file.
